Maybe it is being so close that makes me want to move further away. It is often difficult to determine whether the warmth of your body is from my embracing gentleness or due to rage from my unwelcomed touch. It was only last month that we sat together before the fire and sipped a red wine before confirming our wish to be together, then, here, and forever. Have the glasses from the mantle fallen and shattered on the floor? Do you care to replace them?
I can't even think of the words that adequately describe what I am feeling. It is as though I am trying to feel love, yet my mind is incapable of doing so. I continue to try everything to get closer to you, but I fear I am pushing you further away. I wish I had the courage to ask you what you felt, but that may be the spark that lights the fuse that will inevitably destroy us both. If you'd care to confront me I know what I would say, but how am I to know that you aren't thinking the same as me.
Nothing is more confusing than not even knowing whether a situation is chaotic or organized. A gift to read minds undetected for just a moment of a given day would be the greatest offering to me. Or to have her speak the answer to one question that I don't have to speak and she remains unaware of.
It's troubling to know my love for you may diminish even though I'm not positive it is even there.